Two weeks have gone by since the start of my holidays but I thought I should pen a list down to accomplish two more weeks from now!

1. Take part in photography competition
2. Clean my room!
3. Watch Lost Season 5, Alfred Hitchcock Presents (At least one season)
4. Read (I have a list of books that I need to put down!)
5. Have a date with myself
6. Lose weight

A very, very brief list, but the lover is leaving for Egypt tomorrow and I can’t really think straight. So I’ll continue tomorrow. Goodnight, with a heavy heart.

i get off the family car
my bare feet scraping the gravel
always take off your shoes (unless
it’s raining)

the temple is always welcoming
the smell of burning camphor
feet watch other feet
pensive shuffling, heads bowed in worship

we queue in front of the deity
nice, long queues
like those outside 4D shops
heads bowed in worship

my thoughts try to sit still
searching for a prayer
but they flit from the dirt on the priest’s
dhoti to sex last night

will i go to hell thinking about
sweating pleasured bodies infront
of Shiva? thoughts still flit
and the pooja ends.

I chanced upon this site today:

http://wantandafford.com/

Seen a designer bag/dress/shoe that you absolutely fell in love with? This site gives you the alternative option. Fashion inspired by designers’ work. Nice.

I’ve never been comfortable with my weight. The last time anyone said I was too skinny, I was in Primary school. It never dawned on me that years later, I would secretly want to not be known as fleshy. I blame the media, the fashion world and the pretty clothes that are made for skinny women. Yes, yes. That aside, I was a dancer for almost thirteen years. And then I got involved in terribly unfortunate dance politics that broke my heart, and I stopped. I tried going back again, but it wasn’t the same. Not only that, I have put on an unimaginable weight in the past year. Unimaginable. I am terrified to look at the weighing scale.

I don’t exercise. My stamina is next to zero. And funnily, my horoscope this morning said, “it pays to exercise” or something along those lines, and how exercise is the secret to perpetual youth. Right. In any case, I’m sick of this. I’m sick of being stagnant, I’m sick of staring at my out-of-shape body, and i’m sick of not being able to fit into my favourite clothes. Most of all, I’m sick of hearing myself say, “I’m fat.”

The past few months, I’ve been contemplating joining this Amore Fitness Club. The great thing about it is that it has classes ranging from Pilates to Yoga to Aerobics fusion classes and Step classes. The only thing is that it’s going to cost a tidy sum of money. And that really sucks. I’m supposed to be saving every cent. But I feel like this is my chance to get my health and stamina back. I want to be fit. I’m not motivated enough to run. But I love classes like these. Should I go? Should I not? I feel so guilty & very confused.

Remember to bring SLR Camera next week - last week of school.